Saturday, August 28, 2004

Hey, Dude, where's my ASS...

Well, apparently Dad hadn't reached his 'budget' for my birthday shopping spending, so he decided he'd just take me out clothes shopping. Ever since I had Anthony, I've had no clu as to what size I am, and my wardrobe is quite ill-fitting. It was an appropriately needed gift, but it required my presence due to the size confusion. I knew I had lost a good amount of weight, but not quite how much.
Well, I grabbed my pre-preggo size, which was an 8, and figured I'd go from there. THUNK! dropped to the dressing room floor. Hmmm...7? Nope, I could fit an extra ass in the jeans. I grabbed the size 6, daring to think the impossible...I haven't been a size six since...dang, since I was 18. Well, whaddaya know, they fit. I felt like bursting out of the dressing room and screaming "VICTORY IS MINE!" But I figured the little twits at Old Navy might pee their capris hearing that, so I opted for just doing a little booty shake in the mirror.
I was so tickled, and realized that I was enjoying picking out stuff in a few stores Junior departments. Hey, 25's not too old to be wearing this stuff. And since I'm a size 6, well, now wouldn't it just be a shame to suddenly start wearing frumpy Lane Bryant attire?
We hit a few other stores, and I even bounced into Hot Topic. Damn, I suddenly felt my age. I was crinkling up my nose at a micro mini that would turn the whole world into my gynocologist, thinking "who would wear this thing?" Just as a sales clerk who WAS wearing one walked by. I used to think they had cool stuff, but now it all just looks...infantile. The little Black No. 1 clerk came up to me and with a voice that positively dripped acid, asked, "Can I help you ma'am?" I don't think my flip flops have ever moved so fast out of a mall!

*sigh*

Bonus points to whoever can correctly identify an extremely outdated referrence in this post.

2 comments:

fleshbasket said...

you mean the TYPE O NEGATIVE referrence?

darth sardonic said...

lmao!! good for you! wife and i look forward to the day when we can have a similar experience. i only feel my age in hot topic if i stray away from the band t-shirts, stickers, and bowling style shirts into the gothy, buckles-and-straps, fit-too-tightly round the parts that should be skinny if i was only eating raw carrots and cucumbers section of the store.