Resolving the Resolutions

Well, I didn't make any of my New Years resolutions last year. I think this year I will make them more attainable. Last year's mishap was mainly due to life changes, making what seemed like an important resolution just seem silly. This year I plan on making some that actually make sense. Here's the list!

• Quite Smoking - once and for all, this should be done. It will save me money, keep my home clean, and myself as well as the people around me (mainly Anthony) much healthier.
• Learn to drive, get license - Now that I am working, and about to put Anthony in daycare, it has now become a necessary evil.
• Work my ass off and get some good money! - Now that I have a job (hey, that WAS last year's resolution, yay for me!), I am going to really give it my all. Debt free, people!
• Potty train Anthony - wait, can I give my son his own resolutions?
• Start giving a damn about my appearance - far too long I've been schlepping around in sweats and crap. I'm a decent looking gal, it's about time I start giving a crap. I will get older, my body will start to show it, better enjoy what I've got while I got it, right?!
• Start giving a shit about myself - this is perhaps the most important resolution I can ever make. For far too long, I've been living for others. Granted, I give this willingly for my son. But I've gotten so immersed in selflessness, I forgot a lot of what made me who I am and what made me happy to begin with. I know the ol' 'finding myself' line is so pase, but it's something that I really need to do. I need to promise myself good things, spoil myself every once in a while. Even if that just means spending $8 a month at Bath & Body Works on froofy soap, that's a start.
• Finish the dental nightmare - all that's left is the bottom set. Get it done with, move on, and revel in having a perfect mouth once it's all over with.
• Start writing again. - I have three half finished books. Let's do something about this.

Alright! That's the list for 2006!!

Find your own Joy

During the holiday season, one can't help but reflect on their lives, or the lives surrounding them which affect them. I think about the good times during the year (which are few), and of the harder times (which are many). I think perhaps this year of them all has been the hardest I have ever faced in my few years of existence. Those who know me have been privy to the hurdles this current year has thrown in my path, and thankfully I have those few friends who have shown me the overwhelming support I needed to get through them. I have only written in this blog a fraction of the issues I have faced, because, quite frankly, most people would stop reading this thing on a casual basis had I aired all the drama. But more importantly, there is one important reason I chose not to air my greivances with fate...
Many people have faced a difficult 2005. Look at those who have survived the hurricanes in the South, or the earthquakes in the Middle East. There are people who have lost loved ones, lost livelihoods, lost their whole lives in a matter of a few minutes. There are many worse hells out there than my own. To dwell upon my own would be completely and utterly selfish, and serve no purpose but to depress me and those around me.
I read on other blogs and forums of people who have faced their own hardships. In their own small universe, there is nothing tougher than their own dramafied bullshit, and that frankly disgusts me. Although a part of me wants to scream "Your problems are bullshit!!!!" I refrain, and instead let me inner buddha come out. Icewind would be so damn proud.
What am I trying to say here? Well, the title of this entry says it all. You see, folks, life was never designed to be fair. It's a learning experience. Each trial we face is to shape us into (hopefully) stronger individuals. Although I'd love to say "be thankful for the small things in life" one must do more than that. You really must find your own joy. Mine is, and will always be, my son. Through every hardship and painful moment, I had a bright shining two year old looking up to me with his beautiful blue eyes. The pain our world inflicts upon us is unknown to such a young mind. He doesn't understand dental surgery, family turmoil, or troubling finances. He understands the Wiggles, Hugs are Good, and Tickling is the Greatest Thing ever. He is wholly devoted to the game of peekaboo. Mommy is always beautiful, and shouting never occurs in the same room as him (unless it's directed towards him, as in "GET OFF THE CAT").
Through my son, every day has a tomorrow, and life will go on and things will be worked out. To say I really do live for him is an understatement. My troubles will always seem manageable, because to provide him a good life, they simply must be. Whenever I think "I can't take this anymore", I realize that there isn't a choice in that matter, I will have to make it work for his benefit. But this isn't a matter of burden, but more of a calming relief. Everything will be okay, because it has to be.
Hal Sparks wrote on his own website, "If you don't sing your song, nobody will". I'm not sure if he's paraphrasing someone. Life isn't going to give you a fair go at it. To the people who keep thinking it will, stop feeling so damn entitled. Find your own joy, sing your own song, and sing it loudly. This is the best advice I can give anyone into the new year.
Happy Holidays, readers and friends. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some singing to do.

The Haves and Have Nots...

Every so often a story likes this one comes along and really makes me ponder where we are at as a society. Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis know that my two major topics of choice are Bush bashing and the issues parents face in today's odd world.
Quite frankly, I was a bit shocked to see that this whole thing made headlines in the first place. I mean, big deal, some guy put up an amusing sign in his cafe?! As far as coffeehouse news goes, I personally think that Starbucks bringing back the Eggnog Latte is much more interesting than this little tidbit (and dammit, why wasn't THAT announced on Nightline? Those things are GOOOOOOOOOD).
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051205/ap_on_re_us/kids_behaving_badly
This article I will hope can inspire discussion between those of you with children and without. There's two very opposing groups that are affected by the precedent this article is setting. Not so much in the actual wording of the gentleman's sign, but the backlash it caused.
As a retail worker, I am constantly bombarded with seeing horrible parents coming in and letting their precious little ones completely tear apart my store. I had to beg a woman to peel her nine year old off the keyboard bench for fear that she'd topple into a display, not only injuring herself, but destroying a few hundred dollars worth of product. She found my request to be a bit too much for her, and left in a huff. Dammit, people, why can't you control your children in public?! To me, it's a matter of respect to those around you, and particularly to the businesses you are patronizing. Whether it's a china shop or a dollar store, that is someone's livelyhood. Please respect that they do NOT appreciate you letting your demon spawn tear a whirlwind of destruction through their delicately maintained business. There are people around you who may not desire to have Dear Suzie crawling up onto their table at a four star restaurant and sampling their own dinner with her grubby little hands. And what kind of lesson are you teaching them with this irresponsible behavior? Ugh, other parents can make me sick sometimes, and I can see why many people without children can start to cringe when they see a miniature human walking in.
On the other hand...there are plenty of us who DO control our children, and are constantly having to face people who clearly HATE children. Look, that's fine if you don't like the concept of offspring, more power to you and please go get yourself nipped. I understand that the trials of parenthood aren't for everyone. But when certain childless people start acting like they are somehow better than us who have tossed aside the birthcontrol in favour of procreation, well, that just chaps me. The people who are clamouring for 'childfree zones' obviously don't understand the concept of family (and besides, there are childfree areas they are called Bars). It's one thing to look down your nose at a kid who is running around like a sugar high locomotive of doom, but please don't give me a withering look if my son quietly whimpered because he dropped his fork.
Ugh, it's amazing how this society chooses to polarize itself further. I am seriously waiting for Coke Vs Pepsi communes.

White Stuff falling from the sky!!!!

Looks like we got our snowfall a tad early this year. Stay tuned for bad drivers! I swear, here in the Northwest, one flake hits the ground and people immediately plow their cars into the nearest tree. Nighttime will bring a while new amusement, drivers who think BlackIce is just a myth!
Still, it's awfully pretty. I think when the little one wakes up from his nap I will bundle him up and teach him the joy that is making snowangels. Yay!