Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Moments In Time

My life is basically this crazy as hell runaway train of back to back "you've got to be Fucking Kidding Me" moments in time that make my head spin constantly. Now, given that I am the type of woman who likes to triple the amount of pressure I am under by creating imaginary things to flip out about, it's amazing that I'm not on serious medication.
But...you see...I'm not, because there are these little, precious moments in time that I freeze into my own memory and pop out like a mental lozange to suck on right as my panic level reaches critical mass.
Moments like my son sitting on my lap on the bus with his little hands grasping mine trying to make me do the Itsy Bitsy Spider motions while he lisps out the words. The warm smell of his hair in my nose and feeling his infectious giggle bubble up against me. Granted, in about two hours from said moment we'll be in a battle of the wits over the benefits of eating dinner, but for that particular frozen moment, things are perfect.
Moments like a hot summer night with the christmas lights on in our bedroom, Scott and I wearing nothing but underwear and giggling over the possibility of putting my cat on a treadmill and his quite possibly being the first feline Forrest Gump. We caress eachother because we need to, and knowing everyday that despite my own little neurotic outbursts, this is still the most perfect relationship I've ever been in and I can feel how much I love this person with every breath I take.
Moments like reading through my friends lives on the wire and seeing one get married, another have a beautiful child, and another having an amazing relationship with her daughter and knowing that, hey, we're all a little screwed up, but we all keep on chuggin' down the tracks. The bad moments are hard as hell and can make you feel choked by all that's wrong on this planet. But those perfect little moments in between...the ones we sometimes forget to put in the mental freezer...those are what keep us on the tracks.