A Word on Family

Well, I've known for years that I had a family that would make any talk show host drool. We take dysfunctional to a whole new level, an art form, really. But no matter how screwed up they can be, we still have the bonds of unity, although it takes horrible experiences to understand that sometimes.
I was a wee one, down in Southern California. My Dad had a sister, Nina, and boy were they tight. She had three children of her own, Chris (4 years older), Angie (two years older), and Nicky (1 year younger). Angie and I had our birthdays 1 day apart, so often the family celebrated them together. And in Southern California, we were one big DisneyLand luvin group. The families were different in a lot of ways, Nina's family was quite well off, while since a divorce rocked mine we struggled at times. It was weird, seeing them as kind of this 'perfect family', all three kids in private schools, and special camps, while I was a public school brat. But even after my clan moved upward into Sacramento, the families were close, and I saw my cousins and Aunt at least 2 times a year. Dad and I cherished the seven hour drive down there, it was our special time (and the beginning of our close bond).The bulk of our big ass Italian family also lived in SoCal, so there was always plenty of visits to other Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, and a reunion (which we had every year), busted the seams of my great Aunt Dolly's home. The entire family was close.
Dad's mother passed when I was 8 of cancer. Nina had been taking care of Grandma in her final moments, as she lived closer. By the time the extremely complicated estate was worked out, my Father had disowned my Aunt, and the rest of the family seemed to 'forget' about us up in the north. Time went by, and now it's been thirteen years since I've seen/spoken to the majority of those people. I tried to keep in contact, but no one seemed to care, now that grandma (who was the last blood tie to the rest of them) was long gone. Since the falling out between siblings, I was also estranged from the cousins I had grown up with.
Well, time heals wounds, and I managed to get in contact with the eldest, Chris. I popped down to Frisco, where he had moved, and had a wonderful time catching up. I found out he was Gay, and made sure he knew Dad and I would always be completely accepting. Just this March, we all went down to Frisco, Dad too, and got to see Chris again. I also discovered that Angie had gotten a sex change, and was now Nathan, also living in Frisco. Looking at the new young man in front of me, you couldn't see much of the former girl, except maybe in the eyes. He was so much happier in his new form, and Dad and I were overjoyed to reunite with the boys. Nicky still lived in Orange County with his mom, but after seeing Chris and Nathan, I started to have confidence that family ties may be restored. Chris and Nathan talked of hopefully coming up to Seattle to visit us. Nathan was enraptured with Anthony, and apparently really wanted to have his own children. (please don't ask me how that works, I have no idea, and assumed he would adopt). It's amazing how quickly I felt close to them both again. Nathan and I had so much in common it was scary. He was working in marketing, just as I had, and was now an active member in church and charities. He adopted his own little old lady, like my momma Ida, and we swapped granny stories.
I just got a call yesterday from Chris. Nathan was killed in a car accident Tuesday night. The services are going to be held sometime next week back in Orange County, and I will be flying down to attend. Dad's hoping to come as well, but work may not allow it if it's during the week.
Needless to say, I am upset. I feel like I was robbed, I just got back in touch with him, and now he's gone. I keep thinking over and over of his desires for a family, and how they won't be fulfilled. The rest of the family, some of whom weren't apparently too accepting of the change, will now never be able to make amends with a truely wonderful young man. I can't imagine what my Aunt is going through.
I also know I am about to experience one fucked up family reunion. We've been estranged from this family for so long. If dad can come, he will be face to face with the sister he's built up so much resentment for over these years. My head is spinning with this whole situation.
But this was my cousin. Man, woman, didn't care, we were tied. Angie was a nice girl to grow up with, and Nathan was an awesome guy to be related to and get to know all over again. So estrangements, disowning, bad memories, and bonds destroyed, I am going to California, returning to a home I swore I'd never return. I'm going because family is still family, and Nathan deserved me to be there.
Nathan, you were a great man. Rest in Peace, Cousin. I'll see you.

Nathan Cistone
1975-2004