Saturday, September 04, 2004

Surfin' the boards

With the exception of Dom, who started the crazy journey of knowing me as a friend in real life, most of my friends who are reading this know me from Message Boards. They're my new way of human interraction, saving me from insanity via constant exposure to children's television and my husband. Here's where I post, and why, just in case you are interested in whom I terrorize.
Food Network
particularly Paula's Home Cooking fanboard
I happen to be a bigtime foodie, and since I love me some Paula Deen, I post here. The group there is fun, compromised mainly of Southern folk who share her slightly off-kilter sense of humour. They have happily accepted me into their fold as "The silly little girl form the west coast". I get the coolest recipes from them, and get teased about my crush on Paula's son, Bobby, who frequents not only her shows, but the message board as well. But they are a sweet group of people. Little do they know I am a sarcastic little twit with a caustic sense of humour and a penchant for beating random people over the head with a nerf bat simply for not liking their toes. Mwahahahahahahaa.
The rest of the fanboards there are filled with jerks who have not only can't grasp the concept of changing the channel on a show they don't like, but feel so self-important in their pithy observations that they must fill up twenty threads describing their deep seated hatred of each show's host or topic. While I can hope that those people eventually take a leak on a conveniently located electrical device, I don't bother even going into the other boards.
Unfortunately, foodnetwork has recently found the whole board system to not be worth their trouble, so they are closing them. The refugees are heading to many other camps, I will post them when I've decided I've found my new posting home.

Mamatropolis
I love this message board because it's all about being a non-soccer-mom kinda parent. We're nationwide and proud, but there's a good number here in Seattle who've become my closer friends. There's a great comradery there, sharing tips, trials, and tribulations. They even share recipes!
It was originally just known as "Punkymoms", but the owner of said forum got all freaky and flipped out at the people who actually ran the forums themselves, and there was an ugly split which made all of us posters feel like kids trapped in a bitter divorce.

WAHM.com
I had stumbled upon this board ages ago, and was pretty disappointed. What was presented as a dynamic group of women from all walks of life sharing advice and opinions was in reality a gaglge of ultraconservative and quite meanly judgemental uber bitches that would start flame wars with anyone who dared disagree with their insanely close minded opinion of the way the world worked (ie, ME). I had posted a message stating I was leaving after being treated rather unfairly by many of the members, only to get a snippy little message from a moderator telling me to "Just leave quietly".
Well, I still had apparently managed to worm my way into a few hearts, mainly of people who enjoyed my often cynical and often sarcastic point of view. Those members privately asked me to return via emails, and finally I crept back over to see the latest turmoil. Since the moderator was apparently lambasted for her curt response to me, I was allowed to return posting, which I usually do just to stir the pot. There's a particular nutjob there that I thoroughly enjoy creeping under the skin of to no end.
ChemFreeKids...God, what a bitch. She's a breastfeeding, bible thumping, granola crunching, gay bashing, attachment-parenting propagandist with a chip on her shoulder and an intense dislike and mistrust for anything born with a penis. Complete psychopath doesn't even come close to covering this woman's repertoir. She's a very annoying poster, who often times uses all caps and accentuates her inane points by giving every
stupid
illconceived
notion
it's own
fucking
paragraph,
like we'll really give fuck and pay more attention to her pathetic drivvle if she does so. She's also one of those fucktards who really loves to use smileys and exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we know that what she's saying is GOSPEL. Fortunately, she also pisses off even the most conservative posters there, so I am not totally isolated in lambasting her on a regular basis. What I am alone on is being a democrat, stinking liberal who is apprently just "uneducated". Did you know that CNN is considered biased media? Funny, I always thought it was jsut the goddamn NEWS. ugh. A day where I can have everybody on that boards' hackles up and panties in a bunch is a good day for me now.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Guess who. Sounds like your marriage is as fun to be in as mine. How entertaining for you. You do know who this is. Really you do. I really do understand about your week.

Unknown said...

Sniff sniff... at least we can chat after suriving "the divorce".