Spam-o-rama

For a while I had my email spam filters set to automatically dump all spam. My "Bulk" folder would sit there happy and quiet, and I never had to even so much as glimpse an ad about viagra. But recently I found out I missed three important non-spam emails that accidentally ended up in there, so I sadly had to change my filters. This irritated me, because I don't like inconvenience. It throws me off, because when I log into my mail program I get all giddy with anticipation seeing my mail count up so high, only to have my hopes of popularity dashed by realizing it's all in my bulk folder. *sigh* But since I have to check it now to make sure it's nothing important, I dutifully wander over there and do a quick skim before mashing down the check all and delete button.
But dang, Spam is getting weird these days. I mean, besides the fact that my email addy clearly implied my femininity yet I get ads for "Make it bigger!!"...There's the ones I call Desperate hopes of stupidity, that is, that I would be dumb enough to click on an email from someone I don't know saying "John said you needed this", or "Here's the help you asked for", or even one that was oddly titled "Call me back". I get irritated withthe lazy spammers, who couldn't even be creative enough to try and get a real name on their outmail, all you see is either a blank space or "JHFJHSW22". Oh c'mon, spend the .3 seconds and type in a fictitious name. Or who got all keyboard happy with the titles and all you see is "V!AGR$ 4 U!! C4LL N0W!!::_()*>" What the fuck is that....
I've noticed an influx of Christian stuff. And not just crap like "Do you believe in God?", "Join our Church" or something like that, but Christian Debt Relief, Christian Singles Network, and Christian Home Mortgages. Now, one would think that being Christian, these folks would know that Spam is Satans Tool for the weakminded. I never clicked on the links, because I have a deeper fear of spyware and thus don't mindlessly wander and explore sites I know nothing about. But I have wondered if perhaps the Debt relief and Home Mortgage ones are even remotely Christian oriented, or if they are just companies who assume if they slap the name Christian on it, the gullible will come. After all, Evangelicals have nationally proven that they all believe in the flock-like mentality that "If it's Christian, it must be good!", which explains the overwhelming support of President Bush and John Ashcroft. Our friends inthe Red States frankly don't care how horrible something/someone is, as long as they thump they same Bible, it's all Good!
I digressed into a political rant there, I'm sorry...
I don't know why I find the whole "Christian Spam" so amusing, I just do. I mean, how does one "Get rid of Debt, the Christian way!" Pray for a lottery win? Nah, that's putting too much into fate, an alien concept in faith. Accept your staggering credit card bills as penance for past sins? No, that's more Catholic than Christian. Repent the devil that is your Visa and destroy the little plastic demon? Could be.
Whatever the reasoning behind these newest spammers, I have to say I giant kudos to Yahoo for making some damn tough spam filters. Almost all junk gets appropriately smushed into my bulk folder. If anything does get into my inbox, it's usually because it's related to a site I am involved with, like Clubmom (no matter how many times I tell them I don't want the newsletter, I get it). I'll eventually switch my email to the address provided with my website, but so far, I am too lazy to get the hang of the Horde mail system. Then we'll put the filters there to the test. But for now, I can sit and wonder just how God and Jesus can help me get a Home Loan...