Thursday, October 28, 2004

Mother Hoodlum as Momma Bear

I know I can come across as one vicious bitch, but I swear, I have a soft side. It really comes out in the form of mother henning everyone in sight. Anyhoo, since I had some spare time, I thought I'd impart a story I'd been meaning to write in here a while back...
I needed cigarettes one night, right after I had put Anthony to bed, so I threw on some clothes and headed out to the nearboy 76 station. It was only around 8:45, so I had no qualms about walking down there. Besides, Rick and I were sqwabbling, so I needed to get out and breath before I picked up a conveniently located baseball bat and bludgeoned him to pieces. This was actually before I left for Cali. Since I've been back we've had smooth sailing!
When I walked into the store, I waved to the little gal who always sells my cigarettes, and noticed a small gaggle of teenage girls huddled in the corner. Now, normally I would go into an internal tirade of how Britney Spears is turning our youths' tender minds and morals into sludge, and that pop drivvle is nothing but worthless cash machines for corporations. But these three girls looked scared out of their little hairsprayed minds.
They walked out ahead of me, whispering between eachother and looking around, and it occured to me they might have been lost. I asked if they were alright, and one of them meakly told me that a stinky homeless man had followed them three blocks, screaming obscenities at them (apparently for their deep indescretion of not providing him some change to go buy hooch). They were needless to say quite shaken, and were actually worried he would hurt them. Apparently among the obscenities and slurs were a few threats. Well, the Momma Bear in me raised a brow, and I asked where the girls were headed, and that I'd walk them home to make sure they were safe. They only lived about 2 blocks down from me, so it's not like I was being inconvenienced. Besides, if some stinkified drunk asshole was going to harrass some defenseless teenagers, I wanted to be there to correct his behavior with a well placed foot up the ass. You can roll your eyes and question their musical tastes, but you do NOT fuck with young people like that, especially not on my watch. So I walk with the girls, who seemed to ease up a little when they realized there was a woman walking them home. Good thing I've got a pair of tits, if I was a man they probably would've thought I was just Dangerous Freak Number 2.
So, the girls got home safe, and I walked back to our apartment (and to a very apologetic hubby), and felt better about making my corner of the universe just a little bit nicer for three perfect strangers.
So, before you think Momma Hood is just one raging anti-social nutball of post-partum hormonal angst, remember the key word in my moniker is Mother. And you don't mess with the Momma's hood!

1 comment:

khemystri said...

hehe... I hope someday im harrassed by a homeless freak... i need protecting, mom...

LOL... Nice post!!!

(always reading)
-khem