Well...........let's just say mama's really lucky to have narrowly avoided commiting murder today. Although, technically it would have been impossible, because the awesome dispaly of backwards dickwadish male chauvenism was being done via cellphone, but, hey, the mental imagery I had of ripping a guy's tongue through his nostrils was probably arrestable.
Picture this, if you will, dear readers...a small, inconspicuous Radioshack, run by yours truely, a customer-proclaimed "firey lil' redhead whipcracker". My staff is well trained and knowledgeable, I myself am well trained and knowledgeable. You can't really work more than a few weeks without getting a crash course in basic electronic fundamentals dumped into your cranium. After almost two years of tenure, hell, I could re-wire just about anything (and yes, my nametag proclaims, right under "Store Manager", "two years of service").
In walks a frazzled looking gal holding a USB serial conversion box. These things are ARCHAIC. But hey, we still see 'em. She's also holding a rumpled printout from our webpage emblazzoned with a bridge rectifier. She hands me the paper and begs that I "figure out what he needs", implying some mystic husband. She starts stammering through an explanation, but I politely cut her short, as well, the damn product number is right there, and it's not exactly hard to find product 273-1771 in drawers that are marked 273 series HERE. Ok, sorry, sidetracked into geekiness there. But basicly it was like asking a dairy clerk for milk in the MILK section of a grocery store...standing under the MILK sign....then explaining that it's the stuff that comes from a cow.
After I quickly retreive her part, she has a "Much more complex issue" that she needs handled. See, the conversion box is self powered, meaning it has a little AC Adapter (wall worts is what they are comically referred to as). Finding these, however, is pretty much Radioshack 101. A box, like the one she has, is marked 18V, 200ma, and underneith is the socket marked with it's polarity, which will be in this case +--<-, or positive over negative polarity. Often times it's the opposite, negative over positive, but no worries, or adapters are designed to do both with simply switching the direction you place the adaptaplug (little prongie thing that goes into your device). I start to work, and realize that what I have is an 18v 1000ma, which could potentially damage the device, as well, it may have the right voltage (the V part), but skyrockets over the amperage (that's the ma, or milliamperage reading). Although I have an adaptaplug that fits, obviously, I am not about to fry this puppy, because she is holding it like a precious heirloom and apparently the Mystic He needs this component asap.
She instantly calls him, and is apparently scared out of her wits. I find this disconcerting, but say nothing.
I can now hear the Mystic He who will be now known as the High and Mighty Asswhole screaming at his poor wife via the phone. She actually stammers an apology that she is not as smart as he. My face has now become an expressionless mask as I am horrified that this sap of a gal is placating a beast I surely would have chased out of my store on a broomstick. He is apparently so sauve as to clack away at our website while berating her ignorance, and spits out a sku for a different AC adapter.
So...the one he has requested is a 12v, 800ma.
I know this will not work.
I try to say this.
I am greeted by hearing HMA sneer into the phone, "Don't listen to the idiot behind the counter, like SHE would know ANYTHING"
Wife is now staring at the aforementioned "Manager, two years of service" nametag, as if commiting it to memory in case she needs a defense.
He's now whining about the tagline that reads "Includes one adaptaplug at no extra cost". See, we keep those seperate and just throw 'em in once we match up the size, because there are dozens of sizes for different devices. We note them by a letter for convenient reference, as in A B C, etc. This one is an M.
I'm holding said M tip, as I've already fitted it.
He's now click happy, and has read that there is a multipack of adaptaplugs that has 8 for those who want to use multiple devices on one wallwort. He demands this is the one she request, despite the fact that I am trying to explain to her the multipack is not part of the freebie deal.
I hold the tip up to her face, plug the tip into the device, and as enlightenment dawns she explains that the Nice Lady found the right tip already, and is including that one.
She asks me to plug in the device.
I explain that the adapter HMA has requested is not strong enough to power the device, and therefor nothing will happen.
She stares blankly at me, I can hear him cursing, so I take a deep breath, switch the polarity to the correct direction (because, kiddies, if you put the tip on in the wrong direction of polarity to your device, you will hear a pop, feel a burn, and smell smoke. It's called "Asshole go Boom"), and plug it in.
Hey, guess what, nothing happens.
He now starts screaming at her that she has fried the unit because she plugged in the wrong polarity.
She is practically in tears, sniffing the device for the electrical fire smell he is describing that she must surely have caused.
*sigh*
She insists on making the purchase, now apparently terrified and mumbling that she just "doesn't have his brains, adn doesn't know about these things".
Swallowing the words on the tip of my tongue in regards to her enabling a beast of a most assuredly abueive dickwad backwater sonofabitch chauvenistic pig who should choke on his budweiser...
I ring her up...
Smile....
Explain how to return said product (because it will be coming back, since HMA dipshit really should die and requested the wrong voltage)...
and watch her walk out the door.
I then promptly went to smoke a cigarette, call my boyfriend, and say to him, while uttering in my heart to all of you guys:
"I appreciate you for respecting my intelligence as a woman"
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