An Open Love Letter

The last few weeks have been quite trying in the hoodlum house. The days following my birthday have been such a mindfuckingly spectacular explosion, I honestly don't know where to begin. There's a lot I am going to leave out of this entry, because it's at this point something my therapist and I will have to be addressing in the next few weeks. Sorry for those looking for love life carnage, I won't be posting that today. I'll also actually be leaving the details of kiddo's school issues to a separate post, because it's going to be a very long winded explanation. This one has a purpose!

Sometimes this stuff gets to me. There's a lot I can brush off, but when it comes to issues surrounding Anthony, I do tend to implode. I can't help it, I just want the best for him, and when things get rough surrounding his education and needs, well...yea, I tend to take every detail very seriously. And I'm...god, I'm so tired of dealing with this alone. But then I look back, and I know I've been dealing with it alone for so long. I honestly don't know what it would be like to have a "supportive partner" by my side through this. I couldn't even imagine asking a partner to deal with all this.

But...then I see the support I do have. I really do have an amazing community of friends and family surrounding kiddo and I. I've spent countless hours just in the last week bawling, barely able to function under the weight of it all. But then someone calls, just to check on me because they read a facebook post. Dad will dutifully take me to whatever meetings I need to get to, and I get random offers from people offering to watch him so I can just breath for five seconds. Mary, Mike, Cheryl, and Paris...hell, you four alone have probably heard me sniffle through more tissue than a kleenex factory contains. Yes, there's way more than just four people, those are just the last few who've heard me within the last few days lose my sanity...

And when it gets ubearable and I feel like a useless wreck, just knowing there are people out there who care and will listen is all I need to get back up and get through it. I'm not the type who is comfortable reaching out for help sometimes...hell, look how long it actually took me to get my ass into therapy. But you, all of you, my wonderful friends and amazing family, you've all reached out and pulled me through this. You've pulled me through so much before, too. I don't think I'd have been a functioning human being two years ago had it not been for you.

So, consider this an open love letter to all the amazing people who surround me, support me, and inspire me. I appreciate you guys so much!!!